Fiji

Bula! That’s how they give a jovial welcome around here, and it never fails to get million dollar smiles. This place is incredible, and I can honestly say I didn’t even set foot on a single beach. So if I wasn’t snorkeling the reefs, scuba diving and shark feeding, island hopping the white-sand Yasawas aboard an all-inclusive yacht, kiteboarding, or windsurfing, then what the heck was I doing? Well the answer is “a whole lot!” But I’ll give you some of the highlights on my week in Fiji.

Getting off the plane at 5 o’clock in the morning and getting through customs was rough enough. When the 300+ white tourists emptied into the terminal, the hawkers were on us like they could just smell how full our wallets were. I was the first through the gate, and I was bombarding with questions about what my plans were. With confidence, I simply pointed and said, “bus stop.” (Reading the Lonely Planet guide on the plane seemed to help me look like I knew what I was doing.) Well, I found out the buses weren’t even running until 7:30am, so I picked a spot on the lawn as the sun came up, took a fresh breath of the hot, humid air, and I watched every single tourist get into a taxi and head to the right (to Nadi, the tour capital of Fiji) outside the airport. I eventually got impatient and hitched a ride, making sure to turn to the left, not too sure where exactly that might take me.

Stopping in Lautoka, the overlooked and tourist-free “Sugar City”, some of my initial impressions caught me a little off guard. The women "keep it real" with the Afro and a bright, colorful dress, while the men are seen sporting a long skirt and a colorful "bula" shirt. But don’t be fooled by the feminine attire; these guys are some sturdy dudes, and they know how to lay a hit that’ll make you get you seein' stars (I know, from experience)! On the rugby field is where I met most of my pals, which naturally worked its way into drinks, which naturally led to dancing, which ultimately led to an excellent tour of the city along with its vibrant nightlife. Some of the bars there are pretty seedy, and I wouldn’t be caught dead there without some of these big guys on my side. On Sunday, however, I cleaned up and headed to church where I heard some of the most powerful group singing in my life. The men and women sit separately, and they sing in different tones, harmonizing perfectly. You can hear this resonating from anywhere in the city. The only thing louder were distant cheers all over town when the Fiji rugby team scores! After church, I completed my multicultural morning at the Hare Krishna temple where we rang bells, banged drums, blew in conch shells, chanted, danced, and followed a number of unfamiliar Hindu rituals. They had no problem throwing me right into the mix. Afterward, they shared an authentic vegetarian meal, and I chatted with the head of the temple about the meaning of life. Pretty cool.

Getting restless after a few days, I hopped a bus ride to the capital city, Suva, and I had no idea it would be the most memorable bus ride of my life. If you were driving less that 30km over the speed limit, you were no friend of the bus driver. He would pass and take corners with such aggression that the inside wheels seemed to lift of the ground, and not that I could really tell what was going on; with all the windows down, it was literally impossible to keep your eyes open. It was like standing in a jet-powered wind tunnel, and I was waiting for the saliva from the woman 5 seats ahead of me to whip back and slap me in the face. After a solid 5 hours of this, the bus stopped like it was the end of a rollercoaster, and it was the first moment we were able to release the tension from our necks. We all slowly stood up, adjusted our clothes, and looked at each other with wide eyes as if we all just saw something terribly awkward and we made an unspoken vow to each other that we would never speak of it again. However, when the bus attacked a steep hill, our speed slowed to a crawl, and there were magnificent views of the beach and the jungle-covered mountains on the interior. This land is truly beautiful.

Suva was an interesting city with a history rich in political turmoil, government coups, ethnic tension (between Fijians and Indo-Fijians), and fancy shopping malls. It was especially interesting to see military tents set up in a large, abandoned hotel next to the government building. I got a nice taste of each of these things, along with plenty of Fijian Bitter (the local brew). I visited the Fiji museum, ate Fijian cuisine (many things are cooked in a buried oven in leaves with coconut cream. I highly recommend the palusami), and hit the night scene only to find the complete opposite of traditional Fijian culture; Fijian youth seem to straddle an interesting line between the tradition of their parent’s and the ways of the western world. When the lights turn low, they are definitely favoring the West, and I'm not sure their parents would be too happy about it.

I also should not forget to mention the two hikes I was lucky enough to enjoy. Colo-i-Suva National Forest was an unreal fortress of waterfalls and private pools. But don’t try it if you don’t love spiders. By the end, I was a cocoon of spider silk from hacking through hundreds of giant webs on the path, and I had mosquito bites on top of mosquito bites. Shorts were a bad choice! It took me four and a half hours of navigating this labyrinth of gorgeous jungle scenery before I came upon a giant Tarzan swing; I just had to give it a try. Since I hadn’t seen anyone all day, I decided to test my luck, strip down, and go for it. Since the rope was hanging in the middle of the pool, that meant I had to jump for it, and it was quite a distance. Naked as the day I was born, I squatted low on the rocks and sprung like a frog. Success! That was so great, I had to set my camera timer and try to catch an action shot. I quickly set the timer, scampered up the rocks, and then I heard, “We can take that for you if you like.” It was a couple of travelers, and, embarrassed (emphasize “bare-assed”), I quickly covered myself and apologized. They laughed and called me a good American for covering up, but then they proved how much Europeans don’t care by dropping their trousers and having a dip. Fortunately, travelers are easy-going like that. They even took my action shot for me... clothes on this time.

Another excursion led me to in the traditional village of Ambaca. As a gift for allowing me to climb their mountain (Mt. Batilamu, highest in the country), I present them with a sacred root that they use to make a traditional, semi-narcotic drink. When I presented it to the king of the tribe, he blessed the root and I, the drink was made (kava), and we drank it while they asked me to tell my life story. After boring them with it, they let me at the mountain, and I jumped at the opportunity. It was a steep, strenuous climb up marshy grassland and thick jungle, sans trail! I really put my boots, pants, and rain gear to the test on this climb, and I must say they all passed with flying colors. As you can see from some of my pictures, the land is incredible; not the "Fiji" one immediately thinks about. I could see all the way to the outer cities and even the outer islands where the tourists were sitting on the beach and drinking their pina coladas. When I got back, the villages made fun of my immediate sunburn and thanked me again for visiting. It was an excellent mix of culture and hiking all wrapped up in a single day.

And I probably shouldn’t wrap this up without mentioned a thing or two about cannibalism (don’t read before lunch). Cannibalism was practiced well into the late 1800’s, and is a huge part of Fiji’s national history. They believed that eating their enemies was the ultimate revenge, and they oftentimes tortured their enemies by eating them alive or making them eat themselves! At the museum they had chopping rocks and various clubs they would use for the kill, enhanced with spiky, human teeth on the tips. A warrior was valued with the number of enemies he had eaten, and one tribe’s king amassed an impressive 872 fully eaten corpses. Not bad.

OK. LIGHTNING ROUND!

Heath Gauge: Nasty sunburn. I looked like some kind of luminescent cave-dwelling monster with giant lobster claws. If the native had seen me a couple hundred years ago, they would’ve probably worshiped me as some kind of mutant deity of the sea!

Highs: 1. Rugby, 2. Ambaca Village, 3. Suva nightlife
Lows: Is "Are you looking at my girlfriend" a common icebreaker in Fiji bars? Must've happened four times in one night! (and no, I wasn't looking!)

Narrow escapes from death: 1 (crazy bus driver!)

Friends made: 17

Costs per day: $32.98USD

Best question from home: "How are the toilets?" Tom Cosgrove, in a one-line email.

Best recommendation from home: "Make sure you eat pork everywhere you go!" Sonny

On to New Zealand! What should I do? Bungee jumping? Skydiving? Visit the Maori people? We'll see...